News

So in a few weeks I'll be a married person , odd.

It feels very very strange .

A part of me is afraid im losing part of my identity , I know this isn't right but it just feels odd.

Not long now until sis in law has the sprog , the knitting's going great.

The cancer side..............well the mesothelioma has not grown since the chemo.

They say a chance of up to 3 years but the nature of it can change at any time.

Fingers crossed.

Knitting

I've also been knitting for junior , perhaps I should post a pic or two.

wow

stats viewing!! HEY AMERICANS!! since that seems to be my main page viewers lol.

Ok updates

On cancer front Dad had a good result ( no one ever thinks cancer can have a good result if its terminal) no growth so far and a scan in two months ( if growth he will refuse chemo , if no growth til next year he will take chemo then) so potentially we are told up to 3 years if all continues as is which is very important for the little grandchild they are due in january.

The wedding is creeping closer , OH MY GOD IM GETTING MARRIED IN NOVEMBER.

and today we went to the fertility clinic , it was a hi! get on the couch and let me stick this up you.....

lol as in I had a scan which showed an egg ready to pop this weekend so busy busy me an him indoors could very well be , it also means i've been getting my dates and timing very mixed up ...duuuhhh oh well .

They also tested for rubella and chlamydia and have sent a form for hormone testing on the 2nd day of my next period...INTERESTING PEOPLE!

Just saw Levi Roots Dragons Den UK edt , love that sauce! btw dragons den is a uk show levi roots just makes the sauce.

Had my friend visiting , always sad when they go especially as they live so far away!

Soon be time for my sis to come home too , she's my bridesmaid , ooo I've missed her!

Eppy's

I had a breakdown this morning.

Cried sore and the dog knew it was my head and not something else for he kept bashing me on the noggin with his paw as if to say christ its only your brain woman!!

I'll be all sadish tomorrow as the piggle is having his nuts removed and will be fairly sore for a day or two. When the cat had it done he was great brought him home and he was off out like it was A PAARRTTYY ! lol

Dad is sore at times now , gets a scan result on 2nd of sept, feel so very low at times , we all do.

Coutdown TIL AH GET MARRIED!! 8 weeks on the 8th of sept

AH'LL HAVE ME A REDNECK HOEDOWN errr.... or hoe something....

The partners birthday tomorrow , heading out to have japanese for a change , good food , good fun all while his mum n dad babysit the poor piggle...

And no we won't be feasting on bollocks at least not in the restaurant anyway....

I can't stop the tears lately

I feel so fucking miserable.

I can't do anything for my dad or my mum .

On a better note we've decided maybe we should get married while dad is well enough to be there , that means before this year is over probably the autumn , mum wants us to get married on her wedding anniversary but I don't know I think it might feel a bit morbid in a way , I have yet to suggest it to the partner.

Only 2 more rounds of chemo to go , horrendous, the effects were bad this time. He was so tired and so bloated and ill looking. Yet he still looked well in an odd kind of way.

My heart is breaking , nothing is solace right now.

Bad days and good days.

Rain and sunshine.

Life on mars

Loving Life on Mars - first time watching any of it.

Sis leaving on Thurs - feel a bit weepy about that but am not going to tell her that , she has a life lol

will play wow soon , will also have a play on dragonage again , much fun there too only pity its not an mmo

Dad tired after chemo , this is a long game we are playing , my hope is that its years long.

Still no word from clinic

right , knackered going to finish watching this then am sodding off to bed , work in the morning , i could be fucked less....

Smirnoff and apple juice

Its what I'm drinking right now , you see there's family drama about xmas already.

PLEASE people! it may be Dad's last one and everyone is up in arms about extra ppl coming to visit and/or have dinner n shit , yeah ok I don't like it either , make my Dad's potential last xmas a fucking pantomime why don't they .

Fuck it they're coming whether we like it or not anyway.

Lost ....what a heap of shit , what a terrible namby pamby nancy knicker wearing ending...

Ashes to Ashes good ending , not the best but by far better than Lost , ok everyone's dead in both series so it breaks down like this :

Jack saves island = Gene save souls

Jack's Dad = Gene Hunt
Church = Pub
Lost = Ashes to Ashes

There you go and fuck the typeface changes too , really can't be bothered lol.

Vodka does a thing where my nastiness comes out , possibly tonight it needs to I best not speak in Partners direction...

Ages

So its been a while , well I never was the most prolific blogger , not that I have kids to blog about , plenty of real life issues though !

Dad has his last session of chemo next wednesday , my sis is here from Australia on a two week flying visit , at least this way she sees all the shite stuff happening first hand .

I have issues of a feminine nature ( I could give a fuck if this embarrasses anyone) so they are sending me to the fertility clinic , guess this means kids poss sooner than I thought . At nearly 30 I need to sort that shit out before time runs out , that at least I have learned from Dad's illness.

Time isn't on anyone's side not even Gene Hunts ok? and he's dead already anyway!

Work pauchels along at the same rate , same shite from same people , less chance of me putting up with it , I am so definitely not taking it lying down anymore no fucking way.

I'm never too good at blogging , it's not that I've not got anything to say , I've got loads believe me but more of a Ah crap I can't think or Ah crap I can't be bothered.

I will be back though , poss use this as some mad chart of fertility nonsense and Dad's cancer as it was intended for in the first place oh and yes you , you scumbag if you are readi8ng this karma will bite your ass , cheek of anyone wishing karma on a dying man and his family , disgusting thing to say .